When the going gets tough, the tough goes buying 4D.

有钱不是万能，但没钱却万万不能！

Last week started out with hope and optimism yet ended in despair.

I hope tomorrow will be the start of a better week.

No matter how sad and depressing life gets, I promise to stay happy on fridays and saturdays.

I suppose,

the temptation is always there,

and when the urge comes,

when one feels the need,

it is hard to resist,

and subsequently,

I lost control of myself,

and so,

inevitably,

I ate the slice of bak kwa....

So as usual, I enjoyed CNY, collecting ang pows, eating reunion dinner, relative and frenz visiting, gambling and esp bak kwa. Knowing that the coming year will be a tough one, I was determined to enjoy myself to the max, so I put aside all worries and had fun.

It is still hard for me to accept that I will turn 25 this year. I foresee myself experiencing a quarter life crisis. Events in the recent weeks have led me to reflect even harder. I am digging holes which I myself don't even know will lead to where. There are days when I wake up and look myself in the mirror and wonder if it is the same person I see every other day. Whenever I walk out the door, I put on a front to face people. But once returned home, I guess its back to the rabbit hole.

Its getting harder everyday.

The last time I felt this shagged has got to be when I climbed Mount Biang. Barely twenty mins into the half I was already heavily panting and feeling jelly in my legs. The good thing about playing in a stadium is that the pitch grass is superb, there is a shower room to bathe. The downside is that the pitch is larger which means more running to do. But with a larger width, it allowed us to pass the ball around and kept possession esp when we took the lead. For once, I felt like a premier league star on tv stroking the ball across the pitch to my mates.

The Great wall of china did not play today due to an injury so he took up the coaching role. The warm up was a killer, even after running and stretching, he still ordered us to run. Throughout the game, he was screaming at everyone, captain included. But after today, I more or less get a better understanding of positioning on and off the ball. He taught us how to defend set pieces against bigger size players by sticking close and pulling their shirts. He also taught the strikers how to get past their markers. He made it a point to demonstrate how easy it was and stressed that we just need to have more confidence given our abilities. I hope he gets a job here so he can stay and play or train us because he has been our secret weapon so far. Our last two wins came because he practically controlled everybody like a chess game, dictating when to slow down the game and draw the opposition out, when to pass and cheong. Moreover, I think his instructions in mandarin did not allow the ang mo langs to understand our game tactics. So far, I think the only english word I heard from his mouth is 'good! good!'

My legs are still aching.

As soon as I blurted out the words, I immediately regretted it.

I can only hope that one year from now, I will not look back in anger.

Every night I go to sleep, I think about what tomorrow brings. My main two worries, job and fyp. Once both are settled, I believe I can look forward to graduating and entering the labour workforce. I am or less mentally prepared to do any job even though it may be fucked up, so long as the pay is reasonable or if I am lucky high paying. If the job is enjoyable, it will be a bonus. But to be honest, I think most people will still find reasons to hate their job after a while. So whatever.

CNY is just a couple of days away, but this year, I do not really feel the joy and anticipation, prob due to the grim job prospects.

So Obama is finally sworn in. I really wished him good luck, for all the mess he has to clear up for Bush. Great hope comes with great expectations, for all that he has said, it is time to deliver and show results, after all, talk is cheap. But for the sake of tomorrow, lets hope.

After procrastinating for a damn long time, I decided to go for a jiao di massage today. The pain was overall bearable, but the arch of the foot and toes when pressed was abit painful. It was somewhat ticklish at times too. There was a uncle beside me who requested for a painful one, saying he enjoy the pain. I really respect him for paying money to enjoy pain but at the same time, I think he siao one.

So we ended the season by beating the champions, but of course they played all their reserves. Then again, those kids, average age of around 14 earned my respect. While lacking in physique, they were fast and played intelligent football. I was given a lesson by their nigerian striker, who used to play for tampines rovers. Each time I committed, he simply danced pass me. But after passing me, he met the Great wall of China, our new chinese signing. Such was his covering and positioning that I think they only had a shot on goal all day.

The great wall taught me a few lessons which were valuable esp since I was playing in my unnatural left back role. From the back, he was controlling everybody, from defence to midfield to attack. When defending corners, instead of man marking, he employed a zonal marking system. I think everybody was a bit baffled, but I guess when the ex skipper of Shandong says something, we follow. After the match, he had humble words to say but did blast us for our lack of fitness. I think there is gonna be a mandatory once a week running session and hopefully he will agree to coach us.

I caught Red Cliff 2 yesterday and I think it is better than part one. I esp like the naval battle. Good job Mr Woo.

Last sat was my 3rd official match for the vipers. Playing against the bottom team, I was expecting it to be easy, boy was I so wrong. The opponents were a bunch of old school british thugs u most likely will find in a pub drinking lagers. The bloke I was marking was huge ass, his west ham shorts making him look like John Hartson. He left me with a cut on my eyelid, a cut on my ankle, a bruise on my wrist and caused me to bleed in my gums at one point. Serious, I'm not trying to show off. But I think I managed to stand tall and I believe it is games like these which will make me stronger. Our new American signing was the difference why we won, the yankee may be 42yrs old, but he is bloody fit and hard as nails. His composure enabled us to stroke the ball around the park with composure, it was also humble of him to give me advice and encouragement too. His banter with the british thugs was hilarious and cracked me up at times.

I am just looking forward to the last league game this week, against the newly crown champions. According to the lads, they are champions because they have the ex Thai legend Surachai and some 14yr old prodigy. They just get younger don't they. But our own new star signing will be unveiled this week, in the words of the vice-captain, he is an ex China national player with 12 caps and 1 goal, having played in the chinese super league and S league previously. I don't expect to start games of course, I'm pretty much glad that at least I made it to the senior squad ahead of the B team.

Here is the match highlight. Abit drama la cos we nicked the winner in stoppage time. I am number 3 by the way : )

http://www.vipersfc.net/viperstv.html

So at 955pm, my mom buzzed me to switch channel to catch the 5 min special of the Little Nyonya. Then we watched. And then we scratched our heads like huh? What the fuck was that? I mean, so they reunite and live happily ever after, but abit off leh.

I still felt that they should have left the ending the way it was. Sure it attracted controversy because the good guys didn't exactly win, Yueniang suffered so much in the show yet still die from cancer blah blah blah. But seriously, it is a good show for kids to watch and learn that this is what they can expect in life. Shit happens, life isn't a bed of roses, it doesn't come sweet with sugar everytime.

Personally, I think the drama is trying too hard to show the sponsors that it is the most heavily watched show in Singapore, prob to convince the sponsors that they did the right thing investing in the show.

Oh well, Singaporeans are still used to cheating themselves I suppose.

The first day of my very last sem in NTU.

I enjoyed the wedding last night.

I cannot remember the last time I had a really good laugh.

Time to say goodbye

So here goes, my thoughts of 2008. Overall, I think it has been a smashing year by and large. What better way to start the year with the Edison Chen sex scandal. In the Chinese New year period somemore. Life got sweeter in May when I watched Ryan Giggs lift the Champions League trophy, hoisting it over his shoulders. It is a cup which brings special affection for me to savour.

Not forgetting the Olympics, Michael Phelps breaking and setting a new record, Usain Bolt and of course Singapore winning a silver medal. While watching the semi final match against Korea, I could really feel the gush of blood in my body when we cliched the match, never mind that the team was made up of imported Ah Tiongs. As much as China hosted a very good Olympics, they had to fuck up with the melamine incident, a new vocabulary word.

On the local front, the Mas Selemat nonsense was classic. To me, it is still a joke the way he escaped. Everywhere I went, coffeeshop, taxi driver and hair salons, every 'expert' had their own conspiracy theory.

Part of my world came crashing down when I read the news of the Lehmann Bros incident and I think I can speak for every student who like me is gonna graduate next year, what a bad timing. Hopefully, just hopefully, Mr Obama can pull us out of the shit Bush created.

As for myself, I was generally happier in the first half of the year, I was an intern, had no pressure at work, no need to study, spend alot of time finding out about myself. When school reopened in the second half, I became damn emo thanks to my final year project. Still am emo now. Fyp is still giving me a headache.

Next year will probably be a defining year for me, after spending 19 conformist years studying, it will be time for me to search for a job and start paying the bills in my home.

Inevitably, there were a few downs and sad moments for me in 2008, but not one which I will shed a tear for. I just remind myself that no matter what happens or happened, the sun still rises from the east tomorrow.

New year resolutions for 2009? It will be the same as every year, to be a better man. Granted, I am not perfect and have many flaws, but each year, I try to improve on my character. I am a man of simple pleasures to be honest, I dun need fancy cars or dine in fancy restaurants, that's why I live in Serangoon. Its about feeding the internal soul.

I guess this is it then, goodbye.

Die motherfucker die, who ask u run so slow......haha

I didn't know that in UK, Canada, Australia and commonwealth nations that boxing day is a public holiday. Boxing day is the tradition of giving gifts to the less fortunate members of society. In Singapore, I suppose its more associated with the start of the crazy post Christmas sale.

Just before I slept last night, I was wondering what I would do when I eventually receive my first pay check next year when I begin my first proper job. Besides the family/relative treat, I guess I will splurge the money on a cK watch, Hugo Boss suit, cK jeans and hopefully an Alfred Dunhill leather bag. It will probably use up a month's pay but I figured, heck it.

Boy am I glad it is raining. Christmas should be cooling and chilly. If I had one wish,I would wished for Singapore to have snow so that I can build a snowman. It doesn't feel like Christmas without the snow. But for now, I guess I will make it up by playing Frank Sinatra Christmas songs.

I have been at home for the past two weeks. Technically speaking I should be in school doing my FYP but somehow my research senior is busy so I am kinda having a break. Everytime I receive an sms, I silently pray that the name is not Sabet. Did I mentioned he is an Iranian? Oh well initially I was afraid especially when he speaks on the phone in Persian or Arabic, I could only hope that he would not suddenly pull out his shirt to reveal any home-made bomb. But full marks to him, he has been a nice bloke so far.

I still think the best Christmas movie is Home alone.

Dear Santa, I have been good this year. Looking forward to seeing you this Christmas.

Espresso for you?

I was pretty shocked to wake up in the morning and hear the radio news about Chew Chor Meng's condition. Hopefully a miracle will happen and he can fully recover from it.

So after I did all my shopping today, I went to relax at Starbucks, sipping my fav caramel macchiato and flipping through a magazine. Then a lady in her early seventies walked in, those kind dress like tai tai with bee hive hair, her make up so thick she looked like some getai singer. She was trying to find a seat and while there were many empty seats, she couldn't make up her mind. She walked to the first table, but I guess because the aircon was too cold, she decided to find another table but because the rest of the tables had cups not cleared, she seem reluctant to take up the seats. She decided to shout at the Malay Baristas to clear the table, "Oei, oei, oei'". Honestly, I doubt they heard her and were busy anyway, so the lady decided to resign to her fate and sat randomly. Then suddenly she decided to walk over to another table. In total, I think she spent at least 5 mins changing 5 tables before settling down. By then, alot of people were amused by her and were giggling among themselves.

Eventually the lady's friend came and immediately the lady went into a rage, complaining in hokkien about the aircon being too cold and the baristas not doing their job in clearing the table. I have never met such a fussy character, I mean just because you are in your seventies doesn't mean you are entitled to Queen Elizabeth royalty treatment right.

I swear its more funny when one sees it first hand. All these old ladies, when will they ever change their attitudes?