I feel sad. A little boy came over lunch at my table and said 'uncle do you want to buy newspaper?' Fuck, i can't be looking that old. Also, after working for so long, i just discovered that carlsberg office is above my office. It explains why i see the carlsberg van everyday and smell beer in the drain. According to my colleague, beer is occasionally flushed down from their office pipe to the ground floor drain because it is close to expirary date. What a waste, i should connect a tube from their office and collect the beer in my water dispenser, rebottle the beer and sell it at cheap prices. Beer anyone?

Had a great day today. Played against a team of ABC expatriates and ang mos. They had a team manager, warmed an hour before the match. They had a chart to indicate team instructions. They really looked professional and scored and early goal. But before they knew it, we hit them back with four goals. The defence was in top form after that goal. I played like i was possessed by rio ferdinand. During my driving lesson, i practised turning into lanes from traffic junctions and u turning. It was very smooth and my changing of gear is more steady now. Aaah i don't want to go to work tomorrow. I want to play soccer. I am getting my form back. Going to work only makes me fat. It doesn't help when anthony and raymond orders huge enormous protiions of food and burp in front of me.

I couldn't believe my eyes when i read the papers. Zen micro for $249! Almost 200bucks cheaper than for what i bought. Its crazy how the price dropped. Make no mistake, to all the people who condem creative in favor of apple ipod, its not that creative products are inferior t o apple but i am appalled by how low the prices are now. To make my day, i went to caltex petrol kiosk to buy a copy of 8days, i was shocked that the cashier, a female, was much bigger size than me. No not the fatty lydia sum kind but the buffed up wwf kind. She had shoulders broader than me. Scary... To make things worst, she had a voice like ben chen....creepy.....

Once again, this morning's match between AC Milan and Liverpool proved my theory. That soccer defies logic. When you analyse a team on paper and say 'hey they have this player,that player.... they should walk over easily...'. Well i guess thats why people say the ball is round. It seems that playing attractive attacking football like Portugal in euro 2004, Manchester United in last week's FA Cup final and AC Milan last night gets you nothing. Instead playing defensive and boring football like Greece, Arsenal and Liverpool win you trophies. Anyway heard on radio last night that AC Milan is a hokkien word ( pronouce A SI MI LAN) Funny how people can spot it. On a lesser note, my Alfonso won third place while Sergio Mora won the contender last night. They are deserving winners for their courage and spirit. I can't wait for season two to start.

Well done MR BOLLYWOOD, well done. Kudos to you. You deserve a standing ovation and a round of applause. Guess what, i received a msg from Mr Hobbit last night asking me for my blog address. Seems like ur lame excuse that day ' relax la dey i don't think he knows what blogging is' is not gonna cover your very BIG STUPID mistake after all. I haven't replied him quite simply, i do not know how to answer. Why do you have to always put me in a spot? To the rest, I appeal to you guys to keep my blog address to yourself. It shows the trust that i have placed in you and pretty please DO NOT betray my trust the way a certain MR BOLLYWOOD did. I do not wish to wake up tomorrow receiving a msg from MR F1.

Sitting down staring at my computer screen, i finally solved a problem that has been bugging me for weeks. My colleague, Jonathan, a man who is in his fourties but still acts like a kid, who plays PC games and oggle at women during lunch, resembled someone from 42. After pondering for a while, i finally realised. He looks and behaves none other than THOMAS YANG RUIPENG. Anyway i just came back from delivering stores with our company driver, Richard. He treated me to tea before we return back to the company and gave me a little bit of history. According to him, my boss Jimmy Kong is a person who covers his own ass, accepting all orders from the higher management, afraid to fight for our logistics department rights, afraid of getting blamed. Reminds me of another person, 2LT Ben Soh! ARU you don't laugh, when the next prata session? Cheebye that time already say ur turn organise. u don't do a ben chen on me you know, u sly cheeky fucker everytime read and laugh at my blog think i dunno, pretend to be on neutral grounds. Don't assume you don't add comments i dunno what you are thinking.

Mr Aru, i know people make mistakes. But you just made a fucking big grave mistake this morning. How could you rant on about tong's comments and chee wei and my blog right in front of Mr Hobbit. Thanks to you now, he asked me for my blog address. You must be really happy and feeling on top of the world now. I thought i could trust you, yet your perfomance has utterly dissapointed me when i specifically told you not to spread the blog to Mr Hobbit and Mr F1. And don't act innocent 'oh parry you just being racist and harsh on me, i am on ur side'. One more mistake from you and you shall be on my condemmed list with chen and koh.

I can't believed arsenal lifted the FA cup. There was no fairness and justice.They practically played lousy football for two hours in contrast to manchester united. At least we lost with pride and heads high

Last night as i was looking out of my window to enjoy the beautiful scenary and savouring the cool breeze, i heard a noise behind my back. Keeping my body intact, i tilted my head over to see but before i could tilt back, i pulled my right pectorial muscle. The cramp feeling of my pectorial muscle lasted almost a minute and i buried my head in my pillow swallowing the pain. Damn its morning now and i still feel the cramp. Fuck that should probably spoil my plans of going to the gym tomorrow.

I HATE ALL KENNYS

The story goes. I came back from lunch break and a customer conveniently called Kenny came to collect his hard disk. He was a rather polite man who thanked me for serving his request a fortnight ago. An hour later, he called and said' Parry, i went home to test it but it cannot work, why is this so?' I replied 'sorry but some replacements are also faulty, hang on I put u through our technical staff'. Moments later, my colleague came and ask me 'parry did U...... Why this guy called Kenny said U...., now he scolding me u know, saying he don't want to hear ur voice anymore, said u fxxxed up and fxxking never do ur fxxking job, now he want you go his house(choa chu kang) service it personally for him'. I shrugged my shoulders and said' i don't give a fuck'. My colleague also said 'i also don't give a fuck'. So MR KENNY, my reply is simple. I can't be bothered calling you. If you continue to refuse coming back to the service centre, u can rest assured that u can place ur white ass on ur counch and WAIT LONG LONG for me to travel to CHOA CHU KANG. I detest son of bitches like you and if u think u are a big fuck, come to serangoon ave 1 blk 408 #12-79 look for me. I will BRING YOU DOWN for that comment u made about me. If you can walk home without crawling i will change my surname to koh. U nabei cheebye kaninabu poo bor kia kenny ai le huan lo

Woke up today, read the straits times and discovered that Kylie Minogue has been diagnosed with breast cancer. Its sad to hear of that and i hope she recovers soon. She has certainly brightened up my secondary school days with hits like 'spinning around' , 'please stay'. On a another note, i can't wait for stars wars III this fri. The anticipation is killing me softly.

Tong, let me clean up the house.If you made ur choice as a result of analysing both sides of why god should or should not exist, then Kudos to u bro. But let me focus my attention on my aunts. My mom was brainwashed by her elder sister to convert to catholism. When i asked her what do u know about catholism she goes oh this and that. What do u know about buddhism. Silence. Islam? Silence. So how do u know catholism is the right choice among the rest? Oh because.... this... that.....In short, my mom and aunts don't even consider other factors to arrive at their choice. My head tells me its because my aunt is a catholic and my mom goes oh she can't be wrong. Sorry mom i know u are strong willed as a catholic but so am i as an atheist. Last sat i look at my seven yr old niece. Well she is a catholic but thats because she has only been exposed so far to the religion of catholism due to my cousin herself being a catholic. Is she old and mature enough to know that catholism is the right choice? Does she at this age know that other religions exist? What if she grows up and decides that Buddhism is the right one? Can she make a decision now. No. Which leads me to ponder. Tong, if you were to be reincarnated in Iran, be brought up in an islamic culture and not know any thing about christianity, would it be fair for God to judge you as to why u choose to believe in islam rather than christianity. Would it be fair to judge young children today in the arab countries, growing up without any exposure to other religions and only know about islam because their parents have only exposed them to islam and no other religion? Would God still be so understanding? I mean Tong, if you were borned under say chen shixin parents, would you still turn out to be the same tong today. Would it then be fair for us to judge ur character?

Today was a great day. I played well in defence for our team today. I supplied the cross for the first goal. Seems like my rio ferdinand touches are back again. I started mt first driving lesson. I played with the clutch and found it quite smooth to master. However my confidence led me to speeding which my instructor chided me for. Haha. I dun feel like working tomorrow. Boss fucked me last fri for surfing the net too often and i dun wanna see his mopeng face again. I can't wait for next sat game to come. My confidence is sky high now and i really feel like we can beat any team now. On a lesser note, my mood was dampened at my grandma birthday party last night. While my cousins have began to start bringing over their boyfriends or girlfriends over, my aunties have been pestering me hey parry when it is gonna be ur turn. I replied that i wasn't ready yet for a relationship and that i have other commitments and it seems that the answer was way too shocking for them. And every conversation with them led to 'see thats y u muz pray to the lord' even things like look at the koi in the pond, it is so healthy looking, see parry god blesses it becoz we pray everyday. I know my aunties are not that savy enough to log into the internet so here's my chance 'FUCK GOD" =)

Last night was not a peaceful night for me by any account. I was watching the da vinci special on arts central and i rather like the conspiracy theories. But i couldn't help but overhear my mother's conversation on the phone. Its seems that she is scolding my cousin for not taking care of my Ah Ma who is quite sick. She said 'Darren, why are u not home looking after Ah Ma', 'why u so long never go mass', " Darren u like that how you expect God to help you". Well although she is my mother, i can't help but feel that she has been brainwashed into catholism by her elder sister who incidentally tried to psycho me to convert to catholism when i was younger. Thankfully my common sense and knowledge preveiled. Whew! But anyway my cousin Darren is a fag. He is like 30yrs old and still does not have a proper job. He went to music and drama during his NS becoz according to my dad, my ah mah paid a lump sum of money to SAF. Furthermore, every time my family visits my ah mah and ask for what he is doing, his younger brother would say 'oh gor gor go australia further study' Till today, i have no idea what fucking degree he has. He has no proper job and only cares about staging small time plays. I hate to say it but i suspect he is gay. Woke up this morning from a bad dream too. Dreamt that Sgt Choon was shouting at me for helping capt lai buy food from the 42 canteen. He went like 'u cheebye la why u buy food for him, u better throw away the food or i tell encik'. Then i woke up. Hahahaha

I was thrilled to see rob and amber finish runners up in the amzing race yesterday. Rob is an asshole and certainly does not deserve the million dollars. Rob's behavoir to me ehoes someone in my camp who thinks he is damn smart and capable of winning everytime. For those close to me, u noe who i am talking about, i mean who esle could it not be right? Anyway i will be starting my first private lesson this sunday. I know its overdued but i ain't got a car to drive even if i were to pass today. But it kinda makes me more determined to earn money so that i can afford a car on my own. Lying on my bed last night, i mentally listed what i wanted to achieve before turning 30. 1)Own a mitsubishi lancer 2) Travel to Italy and France 3) Visit and walk the pyramids and stonenage 4) Maintain doing min 12 chinups and run 2.4 below 11.30 5) Watch a live Manchester United game at Old Trafford 6) Get ready to settle down with a nice decent gal 7)Understand the full concept of philosophy. Seems a bit far fetched but to me, there's no point being rich and not be able to experience these joys. I like travelling overseas becoz i like to see different cultures. I have been to Manchester before when my dad brought me to London in 1996. The stadium was fantastic. I would love to visit it again to see my favourite team play. Manchester United is more than a team to me. It is my life. Right from primary three, they have been keeping me entertained on sat nights. Throughout the years, i have been waking up at 3am just to catch them play champions league even at the expenses of feeling sleeping in lectures. I have also sneeked in on monday mornings to camp just to watch them play on sunday nights. Opps hope SSG Ting choon liang doesn't read my blog.

Life has been cruel to me this few dayz with 'STUPID' customers coming to ask lame questions about their mp3 player,like 'why can't the radio be scanned?' or 'sia, why the lcd screen cannot display this?'Gosh thats why they gave u a fucking menu so that dumb asses like u could read and learn the functions and not bother people like me. However it has been brightened up with my colleague playing guns n roses music on her computer. My morning is started with 'welcome to the jungle' now. Thought of the day now. I am gonna watch Kingdom of heaven this week with my army frenz. Some say it is a controversial film, splitting muslims and christians views. I say screw them all. Juz enjoy the film. If i was President of Singapore, i would abolish religion in singapore. Imagine the amount of land we can have if we demolish churches and temples. We could set up schools or casinoes or hotels. Instead of donating money to build churches and temples, i would transfer the money to needy people or an old folks' home. I think its more useful instead of kneeling down praying to god which is essentially useless and does no benefit. Talk about 'divine power' where was it when the tsunami happened? The priest probably takes donation money to buy beer and hide somewhere in the church to drink. Then when they are high, they will sodomise kids. That is why i think last year was a good example of how some of ur so called friendly 'HOLY" priest were actually. Paedophiles. Father Kang was probably part of a sydicate embazzling money with the mafia. I hope to see more priests busted. The police should keep tabs on them. As the saying goes. The safest place is actually the most dangerous place coz no one would suspect a church. People, plz observe ur church carefully. For all u know, in the late nights, the priests may pull out a mahjong table and start playing while drinking and smoking to their delights, and when morning comes, they put on their robe to say 'AVE MARIA' to people and in return receive donations which in turn goes to them buying more beer and ciggerettes. Whacha say?

Take a Bow

Its seems that with the passing away of former People's president Dr Wee Kim Wee, the world has lost another influential figure. Just a month ago, it was Pope John Paul II, a few months ago it was Ronald Reagan and Arafat. I feel that time has finally caught up with many of yesterday's world figures. Actually i have a hunch Fidel Caestro will be next.

Aunties

If there is anything people should fear most, it is not terrorism or nuclear threats but Aunties. Taking bus to work every morning is like a battleground at the bus stop. When the bus arrives, u position urself at a spot where u believe the bus will most likely stop at. Yet within a few feet b4 the bus arrives, SOME AUNTIES who while waiting at the bus stop may look feeble, suddenly shoulder charges you as if they are ready for a rugby scrum. When the door opens, boy these 'gladiators' my friend are as fast as Maurice Greene off the 100m block. But the battle doesn't stop, on the bus, every seat is worth Gold coz they will not hesitate to push and shove to get that seat. Once seaten, the 'High Feeling' is equivalent to us reaching the finishing 2.4km run line. Gentlemen, these Aunties should be top of the next G-7 discussion agenda list.

MUSTAFFA CENTRE

I went shopping for stuff at Mustaffa centre yerterday. Found out that stuff there cost much cheaper than NTUC. I bought sun block lotion and hair gel. I am now a proud patron of that shopping centre. Cheers

Old Folks

Met up with my pals Zhanwei and Nigel whom were from my sec 1 n 2 class. Its been like 7yrs but they havent changed a bit. Zhanwei is still the vulgar sprewing person he is, nigel is still a clown. Suddenly i want to meet up with my secondary school classmates. Been trying to get my pri skool frenz but some of them are now in brunei's jungle village as i am writing this. Haha. I thiink its hard to meet up but guess now is the best time to do so b4 uni starts. I hope my uni frenz will be as fun as my army frenz except for that poser talk nothing but trash think he damn cool speaking with slang ZxxU ZxxCxxxxG...hhmmm no prizes for guessing who.