Time to say goodbye

So here goes, my thoughts of 2008. Overall, I think it has been a smashing year by and large. What better way to start the year with the Edison Chen sex scandal. In the Chinese New year period somemore. Life got sweeter in May when I watched Ryan Giggs lift the Champions League trophy, hoisting it over his shoulders. It is a cup which brings special affection for me to savour.

Not forgetting the Olympics, Michael Phelps breaking and setting a new record, Usain Bolt and of course Singapore winning a silver medal. While watching the semi final match against Korea, I could really feel the gush of blood in my body when we cliched the match, never mind that the team was made up of imported Ah Tiongs. As much as China hosted a very good Olympics, they had to fuck up with the melamine incident, a new vocabulary word.

On the local front, the Mas Selemat nonsense was classic. To me, it is still a joke the way he escaped. Everywhere I went, coffeeshop, taxi driver and hair salons, every 'expert' had their own conspiracy theory.

Part of my world came crashing down when I read the news of the Lehmann Bros incident and I think I can speak for every student who like me is gonna graduate next year, what a bad timing. Hopefully, just hopefully, Mr Obama can pull us out of the shit Bush created.

As for myself, I was generally happier in the first half of the year, I was an intern, had no pressure at work, no need to study, spend alot of time finding out about myself. When school reopened in the second half, I became damn emo thanks to my final year project. Still am emo now. Fyp is still giving me a headache.

Next year will probably be a defining year for me, after spending 19 conformist years studying, it will be time for me to search for a job and start paying the bills in my home.

Inevitably, there were a few downs and sad moments for me in 2008, but not one which I will shed a tear for. I just remind myself that no matter what happens or happened, the sun still rises from the east tomorrow.

New year resolutions for 2009? It will be the same as every year, to be a better man. Granted, I am not perfect and have many flaws, but each year, I try to improve on my character. I am a man of simple pleasures to be honest, I dun need fancy cars or dine in fancy restaurants, that's why I live in Serangoon. Its about feeding the internal soul.

I guess this is it then, goodbye.

Die motherfucker die, who ask u run so slow......haha

I didn't know that in UK, Canada, Australia and commonwealth nations that boxing day is a public holiday. Boxing day is the tradition of giving gifts to the less fortunate members of society. In Singapore, I suppose its more associated with the start of the crazy post Christmas sale.

Just before I slept last night, I was wondering what I would do when I eventually receive my first pay check next year when I begin my first proper job. Besides the family/relative treat, I guess I will splurge the money on a cK watch, Hugo Boss suit, cK jeans and hopefully an Alfred Dunhill leather bag. It will probably use up a month's pay but I figured, heck it.

Boy am I glad it is raining. Christmas should be cooling and chilly. If I had one wish,I would wished for Singapore to have snow so that I can build a snowman. It doesn't feel like Christmas without the snow. But for now, I guess I will make it up by playing Frank Sinatra Christmas songs.

I have been at home for the past two weeks. Technically speaking I should be in school doing my FYP but somehow my research senior is busy so I am kinda having a break. Everytime I receive an sms, I silently pray that the name is not Sabet. Did I mentioned he is an Iranian? Oh well initially I was afraid especially when he speaks on the phone in Persian or Arabic, I could only hope that he would not suddenly pull out his shirt to reveal any home-made bomb. But full marks to him, he has been a nice bloke so far.

I still think the best Christmas movie is Home alone.

Dear Santa, I have been good this year. Looking forward to seeing you this Christmas.

Espresso for you?

I was pretty shocked to wake up in the morning and hear the radio news about Chew Chor Meng's condition. Hopefully a miracle will happen and he can fully recover from it.

So after I did all my shopping today, I went to relax at Starbucks, sipping my fav caramel macchiato and flipping through a magazine. Then a lady in her early seventies walked in, those kind dress like tai tai with bee hive hair, her make up so thick she looked like some getai singer. She was trying to find a seat and while there were many empty seats, she couldn't make up her mind. She walked to the first table, but I guess because the aircon was too cold, she decided to find another table but because the rest of the tables had cups not cleared, she seem reluctant to take up the seats. She decided to shout at the Malay Baristas to clear the table, "Oei, oei, oei'". Honestly, I doubt they heard her and were busy anyway, so the lady decided to resign to her fate and sat randomly. Then suddenly she decided to walk over to another table. In total, I think she spent at least 5 mins changing 5 tables before settling down. By then, alot of people were amused by her and were giggling among themselves.

Eventually the lady's friend came and immediately the lady went into a rage, complaining in hokkien about the aircon being too cold and the baristas not doing their job in clearing the table. I have never met such a fussy character, I mean just because you are in your seventies doesn't mean you are entitled to Queen Elizabeth royalty treatment right.

I swear its more funny when one sees it first hand. All these old ladies, when will they ever change their attitudes?

Recently I am back into meditation. I feel more at peace with myself now.

Jingle bells, Batman smells, Robin laid an egg.

Finally a movie that pays tribute to one of Bruce Lee's master.

Wing Chun. Yip Man.

我想做好人

Yet we still go forward. Because we trust.

Because we have faith.

My spirit is writing cheques my body can't cash.

When the line is drawn, where will you stand?

Remember the times when we could tell the good guys from the bad guys?

Everyday I travel on the mrt, I ask myself, is it the destination or is it the journey?

And so my misery begins....

Every morning I wake up, I ask myself, why did I choose ST-32 for my project....

Eh no ref, we got the ball first


James Ou is falling down, falling down

It wasn't the best way to start my league debut. The standard and pace is much faster but with more games, should be able to adjust and rise to the occasion.

Note to self, work on left foot and timing of tackles.

I don't blame anyone. I only blame myself. It is my fault.

All I am asking for is for my own space and inner peace.

You just lead your own life and I will get on with mine.

What you are doing now is not gonna work, its over, get over it.

you see an expanse of dry leaves glimmering in the sun

you are the earth dried by the hot sun, a tree abandoned by its soil

you are a bird's skeleton drifting on the cold wind

you are a fish that has been tossed onto a river bank, a bird that has been plunged into the sea

you lie hidden inside your body, like a stowaway concealing himself in the hold of a ship

While watching the news today, I found out that it was the release of the PSLE results. Its been 12 years since I got mine. That was just the start of the 50m mark then. I fuck up my PSLE then and didn't really got bothered by it though. But somehow I managed to wake up for the O's and kept pace in the race to the 200m mark. Well, right now I am at the 350 mark and when next sems starts, I'll reach the 375m mark before crossing the finishing line.

What a journey it has been.

I finally see some sunlight

Since Sunday, I haven't really got much sleep. Having a paper consecutively for the past three days caused me a headache especially when there is so much memorizing for CE management. Glad the worst is over too. My eyes were hurting so much from lack of sleep that after the paper today, I just collapsed on my bed when I reached home. But even falling into a coma, I still managed to squeeze in a dream, not a good one though. I dreamt that my FYP Prof was fucking me, not proper fucking in that sense but screwing me for some problems with the project. Which reminds me that after my last paper next thurs, my december hols are gonna be immersed with my FYP project. Life just gets more boring.

The current HK drama Forensic heroes on channel U 10pm is very interesting. I have to admit I still managed to watch the drama everyday despite the stress. Can't be studying the whole time anyway. Oh ya cashmere mafia looks good too, abit like desperate housewives.

Well I am a TV junkie afterall.

Just a couple of hours ago, I took my first paper in a year. Dunno why but I felt nervous and jitters. When I was in primary school, I used to pray to Jesus before a paper. In O Levels, I was so nervous I had to take sleeping pills the night before to sleep. As for the A's, I had to drink Brandy in the night to sleep. Well before yesterday's paper, I was watching Family guy and Simpsons to calm down.

Is Barack Obama the new black hero? Well older generation pple will prob argue that Jesse Owens was the first black hero for winning 3 Olympic gold medals in front of Hitler and his so called Aryan theory supporters. Some say Joe Louis for being the first black heavy weight boxing champion. Then there is Michael Jordan, Tiger Woods and now Lewis Hamilton.

The critics can say what they want, but in my opinion, there is only one true black hero and he is Wally Amos. Just for creating the Famous Amos cookies, he gets my vote.

It sucks going to sleep knowing full well that you will only wake up the next day just to do past year papers the whole day. It made me think back to the times when I was on attachment, waking up to the nice sunny weather and a hot cuppa of coffee.

Oh well.

Personally I feel the US presidential contest is nothing more than an American Idol contest. I don't get what the fuss is up with everyone cheering the Obama win. Ya just because change is good, because he is black, because it is cool and hip to be voting for Obama. Ask the average African American on the street what economic policies Mr Obama is pushing for, I bet their bollocks they stand a better chance of guessing the correct NBA score. In my opinion, no matter who helms the post, that person is bound to fuck up at some point. Why? Because at the end of the day, no one likes the Yankees.

Anyway congrats to Mr Obama for being the 44th US President. What an auspicious number. Good luck to him. It has been forty years since Martin Luther King's assassination. Lets just hope that change is good and not just a dream.

Maybe its from the stress building up because recently, I seem to be hallucinating. I seem to see certain things but after a second look, its gone. No its not like Ghost Whisperer thank god. And no I am not on weed or LSD.

Maybe I am just estranged.

It is highly rumoured that the format for this semester's advanced steel exams questions will be changed. Once again, we are the first batch. What can I say? Must be our batch.

The system has morally let me down.

Well If I had it my way, I would give up everything here and spend the remaining of my days in Norway or Denmark.

Not many people will know this, but I actually own a bandanna and used to wear it (only once though). Of course I didn't wear it the way David Gan does, more like a sweatband. It still ranks as my top fashion disaster. Well to be honest, it was inspired from Axl Rose of Guns n Roses. In fact, I also bought a guitar before enlisting for army because I wanted to be like Slash.

Why am I suddenly mentioning this now? Cos I reckon its time to clean out my closet.

If there were no job discrimination, social prejudice and parent's objection, I would have gotten a tattoo on my right shoulder arm and left forearm. Sadly, this will remain a regret till my death.

The grey clouds sums up my mood in school everyday.

Fuck me, but just when I am to graduate next year, the economy has to be in sixes and seven.

I seriously think there is a conspiracy against my batch. Someone up there must be thinking, 'look lads, we're gonna fuck this '84 batch up and watch them suffer in their misery'. It has to be the '84 batch. We were the first batch required to sit for the 'what the fuck was that for' SAT test to enter university. Then two years later, they abolished the test, yeah splendid, thanks for sucking my money. Then I had to be in the first armour bronco battalion, which is another story for another day. Then we had to be the first NTU batch to undergo the GPA and SU system and now my faculty has to be the first batch to have individual integrated design assignments. Its amazing to think over 24 years, I've achieved many firsts. About the future, I think I am just living on thin fucking ice.

84 divide by 2 = 42. Must be a conspiracy.

It is getting harder to breathe.

Trial match unglam photos

Just a short while ago, my neighbour was shouting outside his door. Somehow my neighbours locked him out and he was shouting at them presumably to let him in. It was all in Tamil so pardon me. He started to scream and bang the gate. Well at midnight doing that, that was pretty daft. Anyway the police just came and took him away. He even had the balls to tell the police not to interfere in him telling his wife off. Full marks to him. Maybe the next time I see him, assuming I do see him again, I should shake his hand.

I can't believe the Fang tribe chose to vote Jacquie off instead of Kelly. They are so gonna suck even more at the challenges. Crystal, GC and Kelly are the weakest players in survivor. They practically do not even participate at all! Totally zero effort. If I ever had such members in my group, I will kill them. Then again, I did encounter one in my tech comm project. I busted that guy's ass. My current project team has one slacker but since he is entertaining, I shall forgive him.

Its for once saying the grass isn't always greener on the other side. Don't look over your neighbour's fence and say 'oh he has got a better car then me'. We all wake up and say 'oh I ache, I'm not 18 anymore'.

Victim No 2

My mother's new lizard trap is really efficient.

One week ago, my mom bought this sticky spray which was meant to trap lizards. She sprayed it on a piece of paper and left in the kitchen to catch those little buggers. For the past few days, there were no victims. So last night, she left some food on the paper and ta-da! We claimed our first victim. If you click on the picture, you can see the bugger trying to shed its tail to escape. Not for the faint hearted though.

I'll be making my espzen league debut this saturday. To be more exact, it is a trial match for me actually. I am not really nervous but more scared with the ferocity of tackles after checking with my friends who play in the league. The team belongs to my infamous ex-roomie James. They even have their own website which I felt was pretty cool.

http://www.vipersfc.net

Hopefully there will be positive reviews about me after saturday.

If I could go back in time, I would choose to go back to Jan 2003.

While going for lunch today, I took the lift with my neighbour.

I saw his eyes. No doubt about it, he still hates me.

It was a tough decision to make. Although I already made my choice, I still can't help but think about the other one. Nevertheless, I believe I made the correct decision.

Don't worry Adeline, I get the hint.

I thought it was a pity that Kimi Raikkonen crashed out with only 4 laps to spare. I didn't really enjoy seeing Fernando Alonso come in first. There is something about him, maybe because he looks like a Jew.

Anyway, suddenly overnight everyone is an F1 fan/expert. I have to admit, I only know abit. Thankfully my friend gave me a ten min crash course on what there is to know about F1 so at least I can act act pretend. Well for once, we can proudly say we are the first in the world to hold a night street race. I suppose not many people know this, but when I was serving my attachment period in the LTA, I was actually involved with the F1 project for a short stint. In fact, majority of my industrial attachment final report was about the F1 project. So in some ways, I guess I am probably the first ever University Student to do a formal report on the first ever formula one night street race. I suppose I made a little bit of history myself there. One for the record. Good job Parry!

Last thursday I spared the lizard.

Last night my father killed it.

Like everyone else, I caught the F1 fever too. So who am I rooting for?

I drink red bull, so I guess Mark Webber?

Back in Kindergarten when the teachers were asking us kids what we wanted to be when we grew up and we were giving answers like policeman, fireman, doctor and crap.

I wanted to be a ghostbuster.

Never ever trust a person who swears by the cross.

He might double cross you.

The famous hokkien mee uncle at Chomp Chomp has come out of retirement.

He is back.

I saw a lizard in my living room last night. I could have killed it, but I didn't.

I decided to let it live for at least a day more.

My favourite land animal is the Kangaroo.

My favourite sea animal is the dolphin.

If Peggy can do it, so can I.

I am searching for something which does not exist

Video killed the radiostar

Supermarkets killed the mama shops

There might be hope after all. Keeping my fingers crossed.

Whenever I wanna escape from the urban jungle, I find myself going to the swimming pool to suntan. Its my way of finding zen in a serene setting. Somehow it blocks out all my troubles and detoxes my spirituality.

I have stopped believing in hope

Because hope only leads to despair

Every silver lining has a cloud.

I should be studying my advanced steel structures notes now but I can't concentrate. It is pretty noisy downstairs my house now because there is a lantern festival celebration going on and the uncles n aunties are belting out lao hokkien songs pretty loudly. No joke, I can't even hear my radio and tv.

I didn't had a good sleep last night. In the wee hours of the morning, some drunk Indians were screaming and shouting downstairs at the park. The police came over and arrested one of them who then screamed POLICE, POLICE. He was probably gone in the head. By 7am, the tai chi aunties came for their practice and at the end of their session, they were shouting some cheer. My sleep was thus so miserable.

Yup, so I went for the match against the Singapore Veterans team weary headed with roughly 3 hours of sleep. We lost 5-3 due to our bad defending and lack of finishing up front. I wasn't bothered by the score, I was more impressed to see how the veterans played their football with such calm and composure, never losing the ball even under pressure. Something for me to learn not to rush playing the ball when in possession. I am quite surprised to see them match us up in terms of fitness too, considering that most of them are probably in their mid-forties reaching fifty. Hats off to them.

Ok, as they say, if you can't beat them, then join them. I might as well go down and join in the fun since I can't do my revision with the noise. I can hear my father's voice constantly be it singing or acting as the emcee.

Thats all for now.

I have a love hate relationship with the rain recently. The rain has spoilt many of my plans. I can't jog, swim, suntan or play soccer when it pours. On the other hand, I have to thank the rain for making my sleep every night a very comfortable one.

Yea so I had my first proper tennis lesson today. My coach being none other than the infamous Yip Kangli. I was taught the forehand and backhand grip, strokes and the footwork. In theory it sounds simple, but executing the technique in the proper sequence wasn't. But it was just a run out for me today. I shall see my progress in the next few lessons before deciding if I really want to seriously take up the sport. After all the racket doesn't come cheap. It costs as much as my adidas predator boots.

I feel the need for speed.

I shall be having my first proper tennis lesson tomorrow. I told my father about it, he laughed. I guess that's part of a father's job.

After watching them present today, I am glad I did not allow the Vietcongs to join my group.

Why does Johhny hates jazz?

Put it this way, it was always gonna happen eventually.

Behind every successful man, there is Chivas Reagal.

Chee wei is enjoying himself

Aru doing his best to look gay

That was me on a 7 yesterday. Wait till I am on a 9.

Lets see, where do we begin? Or should I say where do we go?

Sweet child of mine.

Usain Bolt is the new Bob Marley

From nowhere to parity.

London. Think fish and chips, Mary Poppins, Porkie pies.

Many months ago, I bought a psp in a bid to become part of the hip culture.

Today in MRT, I saw an aunty playing psp. I think to myself, where has it all gone wrong?

I barely touched him, but he fell and yelled as if he were shot by a bullet. I told him it was comical. Sadly the referee bought it. As my teammate said, he went down like a Hollywood trailer. I couldn't help but chuckled.

In 2000, we sniffed, in 2004 we smelt. Yesterday, we finally did it. Ok not exactly 'we' in that sense since the three paddlers were born in China and took up citizenship here, but who gives a shit eh. Something to cheer about at least. I was pretty much sick but managed to catch the 4hour live match. Honestly I know nuts about table tennis but I gotta say it was pretty exciting and nail biting at times esp since it went into the final game and fourth set to decide our fate. When Li Jiawei choked in her set i thought it was deja vu all over again. As they say, every city needs a hero and we found a new heroine in Feng Tianwei to save the day. Good job girl! Now get in there and take a bow!

We will meet China for the finals tml, an uphill task. But I agree with what a columnist in today's Straits times said. " But silver can depreciate if a team do not fight for goal, bleed for it, ache for it, scrap for it. Singapore may eventually lose and that is fine, but in their giving of everything, their silver will have a more blinding shine" In my own words, if Barnsley could upset Liverpool and Chelsea last yr in the FA Cup, who is to say we cannot cause an upset. I hope that tml the table tennis team will at least make us dream for as long as it last.

I am sick. Damn.

I have been watching the Olympics for the past few days. I must say Tao Li has impressed me by finishing 5th in the 100 butterfly. If she were as tall as her opponents, she will be a sure bet to finish first. All the attention is on Michale Phelps on whether he can win 8 gold medals. Well he is halfway there already isn't he. But honestly I don't give a damn. Blame it on him being a Yankee. Yea, in the swimming circuit, I only root for Ian Thorpe and Popov. They have already retired sadly.

Nothing exciting in the Olympics though. I am just waiting to see Liu Xiang defend his gold in the 110m hurdles.

I bought myself a new casio watch today

If it makes any sense at all

I bought a levi's jean just for the sake of owning the brand

I bought a sling bag not because I needed one, but because I liked it

I want to be a pilot, just so I can wear my Aviator sunglasses

When u are at the bottom, only then u realise how lonely it can get

Because what we do in life, echoes in eternity

3rd day of school

Traveling to school sucks. The journey is boring. Thankfully I have my scott mills podcast to keep me entertained. So far my lectures are pretty boring, lots of talking. Still hoping for some animated lecturer to spice up the lessons. Which prob ain't gonna happen.

Anyway being a final yr student, I am trying to act the part too. I find myself walking with a yr 4 lao jiao swagger, giving the 'don't fuck around with me, I am yr 4 student' kinda look. Hahaha. It gets pretty fun.

1st of school

So after 8 months of slacking, I am finally back in school. Well, nothing particularly exciting today apart from seeing all my old course mates.

Anyway, I spent the whole of last week meeting up with my primary school frenz, army pals, blogger fren (yes read ms how) and even ex blogger fren kang, hey I still hope to see u post the real reason why u cut botak and fake back pain someday.

Last friday, I also caught the movie money no enuff 2. I think it is pretty funny, as usual it is a movie which only singaporeans can identify with, so I would recommend it to everyone who hasn't caught it yet.

As it was the Istana open house yesterday, I decided to make a trip there tog with Kang n ms how. Though my father claimed that he brought me there when I was young, I have absolutely no recollection. I was disappointed that we could only view the ground floor and though it was impressive, there was nothing much to see. On the way to purvis street for dinner, we popped into Raffles Hotel to look see. The place is damn posh, the lounge is so conducive with the jazz music, perhaps I should study for my exams there.

I can't wait for friday to come. It will be a big day for me. Yes Ethan, as I mentioned, she is THE ONE. Thanks for the vouchers ms how, it will come in handy for me this fri.

My life in LTA